by Hobbert Ryde
Okay, I admit it. Those words of mine were over the edge, as you might say.
Ima Gine told me so when she read them last night. Actually, she gave me "holy heck," if you know what I mean, for using the "H-word." I admitted it, I slipped.
She said remember those cartoons in the history books about the Revolutionary War days, where the guys would say "D--n" instead of, you know, uh, well, "d--n," and if it was good enough for the Founding Fathers it ought to be good enough for me, since I was always going off about the good old days at the beginning of our great nation, and what could I say to that? So let me go on the record that I apologize, here and now.
So I said maybe we should move on, like the liberals, you know, "Move On," get it? (Oh never mind.) She said since when do we get our marching orders from the liberals. What could I say?
So then she got onto me for using the b-lls word. She said if I was going to bring up the subject at all, I should have said "t---icles," with the hyphens, and how would that have looked. She said that showed I shouldn't have brought up the subject at all.
(Well right then I could tell where that was going, and sure enough, when we went to bed, she wouldn't bring up the subject at all. If you know what I mean.)
But I said I thought she missed the point, the point of the matter was about R-n P--l. I said I thought it was a pretty good first try, seeing that I haven't done anything like this before. Of course, I said, toning down the language and all.
She said she thought I didn't know what I was talking about, like using the word "cartel." It showed I was just quoting other people. Ha! I said. Because now I knew I had the best of her. (I had looked it up after I wrote that thing and it meant pretty much what I thought it meant.)
I said, I knew you were missing the point! The point is, they are OUR cartels! They are one hundred percent AMERICAN, and R-n P--l is trying to make out that they are DIRTY and EVIL, and the WHOLE POINT is that they are what MADE AMERICA GREAT! That's my point.
She said I shouldn't raise my voice like that, it made her nervous. And besides, she knew all that anyway, and didn't need me to tell her. Well, what could I say?
Okay, I admit it. I raised my voice. But I'm telling you, those R-n P--l people worry me. If I didn't know that God was looking out for this great nation of ours, I'd be plenty scared.
And don't tell Ima Gine (she doesn't know about this blog yet), but we still need men with real t---icles, like I said before. And that includes some real heroes, in my book. Like D-n R---feld, S--n H---ity, and B-ll O'R---ly. And yes, most emphatically, D--k Ch---y.
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For fun, this was