Friday, October 5, 2012

Romney's A Winner!!

by Hobbert Ryde

     Man!  I've got to say I loved the way Mitt Romney put it to Obummer the other night in that first debate we had.

     I'll bet you that Goofy over at Sycamore Three didn't even watch it -- he hasn't said a thing.  He's probably seething mad because his precious R-n P--l former candidate wasn't there -- 

     Gosh I love saying what I just said about R-n P--l.  Former candidate.  Finally got that, Goofy?  Or did you miss the latest newsflash?  Former.  Gone for good and none too soon, I might add.  Oh, I know Ima Gine would say that I should probably say something nice about the old man, like after all he was a Republican, he probably meant well, raw milk, whatever.

     But I'm not going to, and I'm going to flat out tell you why:  I don't think he was that great, and I'm not going to prostrate my opinions for anybody.  To tell you the truth, I don't think he was ever a real Republican.  Not my kind, anyway.  And I'll tell you why about that, too.

     The Republican Party is supposed to be a Christian party, in my book.  Well, of course, in a perfect world, they both would be, like Ima Gine says.  But what she doesn't fully realize, which is why the world will never be perfect, is that the Democrats are all Socialists, every last one of them, and who ever heard of Christian Socialists?  Can't happen. Sorry, dear.  (You understand.)

     And if R-n P--l had taken over, we'd have had nothing but a bunch of Christian w-sses (like Goofy) and closet libertarians (like Goofy) representing us, when we ought to be showing that the Christian Flag is worthy to stand right up there under Old Glory himself,  and give everybody some good old-fashioned Christian H-ll like William T. Sherman marching through Georgia.  Onward, Christian Warriors -- if we can't stand right up there beside the worst of them, and show them that we're just as good as they are, what are people supposed to think?  Good grief, what do they think war is all about?

     Plus, R-n P--l was going to absolutely wreck the economy, and you can bet your bottom dollar on it.  Even Ima Gine could see that.  Let the banks fail?  Get real.  Just where do you think money comes from, Dr. P--l?  It's just like Ima Gine's friend, Lyz Dexic, said, "How do you think we are going to get by without sound money and a whole lot more of it?"  I couldn't have said it better myself.

     But after all is said and done about war and the economy, I finally figured out what I don't like most about old Dr. P--l, and I've got to tell you, it took Millard W. Romney himself to make me see it:  (Why couldn't I have seen it for myself, I'm asking myself.)

     Here it is:  R-n P--l was your classic 47 percenter!  He totally reeked of 47 percent mentality.  Think about it, and you'll agree.  To me, that's like a 47 IQ.  Now don't get me wrong, I am not discriminating because the 47 percent are dumb.  I'm discriminating against them because they are losers, because 47 is a losing number.

     And I think this country needs to focus on its winners.  And I think what we need most in a president is a good honest 100 percenter with an IQ to match.  And that's Mitt to a T.

     Plus, he looks presidential.  I know that means a lot to women, and I bet he gets 75% of women's votes, you know how easily impressed they can be.  It doesn't really matter that much to me, as you know, but I'd honestly have to say, he looks pretty impressive.  I'd say he is the most presidential looking president since Richard Nixon, and that's reaching pretty far.

     And I don't mind saying so, I identify with Mitt.  I feel like he's my kind of guy.  In fact, I'll just say right here and now that I really look up to him -- especially his integrity.  That guy wouldn't fudge the truth if his life depended on it -- heck, even if the election depended on it.

     Well, I've got to say, there was one thing for sure I didn't like about the R-n P--lians at the Republican convention, and that was that they were sore losers.  Well, sorry, Jocko.  You come to the circus and want to parade with the elephants, you gotta expect a little bit of elephant doo-doo to fly your way.  Like they say, it goes with the territory.  But you didn't need to ruin it for everybody else.

     I've got to admit, Ima Gine got a little squeamish when she saw them walk out.  I think she was still feeling bad about Rick Santorum, and also about her friend, Lyz, and all, and how the Lord had told Lyz it was going to be Rick, and now he wasn't even going to be Vice President, now that Mitt had picked Paul Ryan.

     I said well, the Lord has a right to change His mind, just like Mitt has a right to change his.   And besides, Paul Ryan was a great pick and brought a lot of experience and family values to the team, just like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann.  (Plus, I was thinking, he's got something more that they don't have, if you know what I mean, but of course I didn't say anything like that to Ima Gine, not after last time.  That one took two months to straighten up, if you know what I mean.)

     So there the P--lians were walking out, so I said, Well, who needed them anyway.  Who wants them.

     She said something about not being so sure.  So I said, to cheer her up, you've got to have faith.

     And now, after seeing how Mitt man-handled Obummer in that great debate, I know I was right.
     So, a final so-long to R-n, and on your way out, don't let the door hit you where the good -- 

     (Now you've got to stay with me here:  if Ima Gine ever finds this site, and reads what I wrote, my goose could be g--s-d, you might say.  So I've got to do what they say when the radio won't play it, and kind of "lay it . . . between the lines."  Get it?)

     Well like I was saying, Goofy probably didn't even watch the debate, so what can he say?

     But that's not going to keep me from saying something.  Plenty, I might add.  I'm loaded for bare, right now.  Heck, I'm loaded for donkey, if you get my drift.

     Like they used to say in radio-land, stay tuned.

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For fun, this was