by Hobbert Ryde
I've got to tell you what happened today right after Ima Gine and I got home from church. I don't mind telling you, because I think you'll understand, that -- well, I'll just come right out and say it. It was the closest thing to a sign from heaven that I've seen in my life.
Now I've got to explain something right off, which you might not understand, which is that Ima Gine and I go to different churches. (Now don't get ruffled. There's nothing wrong between us, or between her church and mine. I can't explain it right now, I'll have to save that for another time, but just rest assured that they are both Godly Republican churches, okay?) Anyway, that's an important part of the story and what makes it so uncanny, as I'll explain.
Well for me it started right after the service at my church. I don't mind telling you, a lot of us guys were standing around talking after the services, kind of feeling bad about Tebow and the Broncos yesterday, what with how things turned out and they lost to New England. (New England!) That's just when Brother Bob, our minister, came up and joined us talking. I could tell he was half relaxed, half serious, and had something on his mind.
I thought it might be about Tebow, because he had mentioned at the beginning of his sermon how God's people can lose some battles sometimes, like Joshua and the Children of Israel did after Jericho, because there was sin in the camp. Not meaning Tebow, of course. Just that maybe some of the guys on the offensive line weren't close to Jesus, and that's how Tebow gets sacked sometimes. Sometimes Satan just breaks through on you. I could understand that. It made us all feel a lot better.
Well anyway, Brother Bob came up and said he couldn't say this in church, because he'd be endorsing a candidate. That could jeopardize our tax-exempt status. But it was important and he wanted us to know something. A group of serious Christian leaders, including Doctor Dobson, had met together at a meeting in Texas and prayed about the election, and the Lord directed them that it was Rick.
Well, I could tell right then, to tell you the truth. What with Doctor Dobson, and Tim Tebow, and also I mentioned last week right here at this site that I really liked Rick, and I said he had b---s, for which I have apologized to Ima Gine and you, if you need my apology. (And no, Ima Gine has not discovered this site yet.) It was like it was all coming together.
Then I get home, and who's already there but Ima Gine. I said, "How was church?" She said, "Just fine, of course," but I could sense that she was holding something back. Then she said that Dr. Bill --that's her preacher -- had also mentioned the very same meeting of those Christian leaders, and how they had met and voted, and it was Rick Santorum after only three votes.
Then, to top it all off, Ima Gine's friend Lyz dropped by. (I'll have to tell you about her sometime, too, but not now, I've got to stick to the important stuff.) But Lyz goes to a church where they raise their hands and "hear from God," as they say, and she said that their pastor, Pastor David, had said the same thing. And none of us had realized this before, how everything just comes together.
Lyz went on to say that right there in church it reminded her of where in the Bible it talks about the Sign of Jonah. Later she went and looked it up, and saw that it's right there how the lot fell upon Jonah. She said it confirmed it, to her, when she got to the part where they cast lots, which she said is just like voting.
I wasn't too sure about that (you can't always be sure about Lyz), but still it's good to know that it's Rick all right.
I was thinking back how just last week I had said how we needed a guy like Rick. Then Ima Gine interrupts my thinking and says that its all well and good that I like Rick, but I still shouldn't have said what I did, she still couldn't get it out of her mind.
But I got to thinking, maybe those Christian men were seeing the very same thing I was talking about, and that's why they voted for him.
And then I got to thinking . . . what if Rick Santorum picked Tim Tebow for his running mate! Rick and Tim standing together. That might be almost as good as George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.
Even Goofy over at Sycamore Three might wake up and go along with that. I haven't heard him say anything bad about Tebow, anyway, so there might be hope for him there.
Well, I'm probably getting ahead of myself. But it's good to know that it's Rick after all. It's time for everyone to Stand Together With Rick!
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For fun, this was